More Real

How do you listen?

I ask 3 people including me, Willow (13) and Eden (21) how do you listen? We discuss the importance of truly listening and how most people don’t do that and when you’re with someone who does how good it makes you feel. Wouldn’t the world be a better place if people did truly listen and weren’t distracted so much. I truly hope you enjoy the conversations as much as we did.

How important is human connection?

I ask 5 people including me, Willow (13), Jess (15), Jude (17) and Eden (21) how important is human connection. We discuss how each person connects, what each person struggles and needs from human connection. The challenges of trying to connect in the current (Oct 2020) situation. What do you notice about connections and what do you wish could be different? What do you wish could be taught? I truly hope you enjoy the conversations as much as we did.

Are you grateful?

I ask 5 people including me, Willow (13), Jess (15), Jude (17) and Eden (21) are you grateful? We discuss the importance of gratitude and being grateful for the small things in life. Some useful exercises to help people to recognise gratitude. What does it mean to each person? How they show gratitude? Is it discussed with friends? I truly hope you enjoy the conversations as much as we did.

Why did you want to be a dad?

A regular guest on my podcast Richard is a father of two boys (8 and 14 yrs). He shares his journey of becoming a father. Having to deal with not experiencing the birth he and his partner had anticipated but then feeling the total euphoria of becoming a dad. Embracing fatherhood and being very hands on. The different parenting styles they adopted i.e. attachment parenting and aware parenting. He talks candidly about his father how he didn’t fully understand him until the end of his life and coming to terms with that. There was an important realisation in the conversation which was great for Richard about his father. How to deal with connecting to one child more than the other. How tough it is to be a dad and a really useful piece of advice to help you deal with the challenges. I truly hope you enjoy the experience as much as we did.

What did your dad mean to you?

This was a great chat with Roni a father of 2 children (17 and 18yrs). Roni talks about the challenges he faced as a child, dealing with a strong detached father and how his perception of him changed during childhood. All of this influencing his parenting style. Like a lot of men Roni didn’t jump at the idea of having kids but when it happened he fully embraced the experience. He was so moved that he didn’t want to miss any of it. He had to deal with trauma around his daughters birth as she was born 3 months prematurely and as an adolescent there was another challenge which he struggled with and learnt how to adapt to. His kids are extremely important to him and how shaping their journey through life has been a constant source of enjoyment and a struggle. There are some important lessons that Roni shares about fatherhood and why it’s key to be an aware parent. I truly hope you enjoy the experience as much as we did.

Do you know who you are and what you want from your life?

I ask Willow (13), Jess (15) Jude (17) and Eden (21) do you know who you and what you want from your life? For me these questions are important in being able to understand truly who are and if you connect with them on a regular basis it will help you make better decisions in your life. We discuss why knowing who you are is so crucial at a young age and how this influences your choice of friends and how you view your relationship with your family? I ask some interesting questions about future goals and what each person wants from their life even at a young age. We take some interesting journeys into the human psyche and discuss the struggles each person has which have affected their lives and help them to think more about these questions. I truly hope you enjoy the conversations as much as we did.

Being a dad - The toughest and most rewarding experience of my life!

In this solo pod I talk about my journey of being a dad. I share the challenges I faced along the way and how I didn’t know what I was doing but worked it out as I went. I’ve made lots of mistakes but I’ve always tried to be present, stay connected and be there for my kids as much as I can. To give all of myself so they feel loved and appreciated. I talk about my relationship with my father and how he wasn’t there for me when I needed him. What he taught me and how I’ve loved and will continue to love being a dad. It’s the toughest challenge I’ve ever undertaken but by far the most rewarding of my life. I truly hope you enjoy the experience as much as I did.

Do you love yourself?

I ask 5 people including me, Willow (13 yrs), Jess (15 yrs), Jude (17 yrs) and Eden (21 yrs) do you love yourself? This topic has hugely affected my life, as I’m a 50 year old man who hasn’t loved himself. I wanted to raise awareness of why I believe that loving yourself is so important. I discuss with each person a range of topics related to this subject including how do you love yourself? Why don’t you love yourself? Why is it important to love yourself? We discuss how self-awareness helps to guide your thinking. I truly hope you enjoy the conversations as much as we did.

Which wolf will you feed?

We started by discussing the classic Cherokee Indian legend about which wolf will you feed which I find fascinating. Eden is a beautiful person who at 21 has seen a lot of life. She’s experienced childhood trauma, her parents divorcing, living in two countries, travelling extensively and having incredible experiences with amazing people, being in the army and living in a pandemic. She has so much passion and energy and a positive outlook on life and at a young age has done some real work on her mental health. She’s been to bad places and will continue to do so but understands what’s going on when it happens and has the commitment and wisdom to work through her issues to grow and be the best version of her possible. Eden is highly empathic, who connects deeply with people and craves that connection. We discuss her belief system and her thoughts around not being good enough, struggling to find her voice as child in her family. Feeling like she was unheard and becoming angry and depressed and not having the same experience as her friends were at the time. I truly hope you enjoy the conversation as much as we did.

How have you grown through your suffering?

Suffering leads to transformation. Pain is necessary despite what society tells you that being uncomfortable and feeling vulnerable aren’t good and you should push those feelings away, move on and feel positive. What we attach to the pain is important and the key is how you understand and deal with it.

Throughout her life Lael has looked at herself, what vulnerability means and how emotional trauma has surfaced. She suffered a traumatic event when her third child was born and hadn’t dealt with it at the time. Two and half years later she was hit with PTSD. Anxiety attacks stopped her from working and she was overcome by so much emotion and pain. This was a life changing moment that required her to truly feel and understand what this event meant. All this taught her to always look at who she was and who she wanted to be. It’s so important to take care of your needs first and learn to love yourself, which sadly we’re just not taught.

We talk about aware parenting (her area of expertise), what it means to be present and to catch your feelings and not project them onto your kids. Lael discusses what she fears the most and how she is able to step into the bigness of life and has the courage to be different. The importance of making a difference in the world, changing people’s lives for the better and the truth of who we are.

She is an inspiring person who has achieved so much and has the grace to acknowledge it. I truly hope you enjoy the conversation as much as we did.